This is a love letter to you. Yes, you. If you have found these words then I am talking to you directly.
My heart aches for everyone touched by all manner of loss this year. I can’t say I feel celebratory. I know when the clock strikes midnight tonight it won’t undo any of this or magically propel us into the “all better”. But I can say I feel two things primarily- hope and gratitude. Grateful for all there is to be grateful for. And hopeful we are heading towards making things better.
Loss has touched us all in some way or another- loved ones, jobs, security. And for some, the loss may be in more invisible ways, but it’s still there. While I’ve realized in a lot of ways I may be built for hermit life, and sitting at home scribbling away and making things is in many ways a dream for me, there is a loss of balance. The ability to balance holed-up-at-home with things like sitting in a bar and losing track of time with a favorite person, absorbed in deep, sparkling conversation; the kind that feels effervescent and makes everything else fall away. Or having friends piled into my tiny apartment, sprawled across couch and makeshift sitting areas while we watch a horror movie and offer up our commentary, making each other laugh late into the night, filling every corner of the place with love long after they’ve left. In all honesty, at times… it has in fact been crushingly lonely. The thing that has kept me from getting lost at sea and drowning in that loneliness… is you.
So many have shown me such kindness this year. Strangers turned friends, cheerleaders, believers. Virtual watch parties served as a tether that brought me back and kept me from drifting away. Making things and conversations with you anchored and steadied me.
Whether we are already real life friends, whether we have yet to meet, or even if we have never interacted at all. Please know- for me, you are lifeboats. You are beacons of light. And I am more grateful for you than I’ll ever be able to express.
I’ve met many wonderful people this year. Thank you for making me laugh and filling me up with hope. I hope you are also filled with hope, for better things to come. Thanks for playing along/reading /watching/listening/interacting / supporting from afar. I hope in return I make something that offers you a bit of respite from reality.
Thanks for sticking around. I am always cheering you on.
Catch you in 2021 for some more spooky shit.